Monthly Archives: March 2016
I am broken hearted. For my husband. For our church. For my son. For our friends at church. I am also mad. At the people who are causing this pain. At the people who don’t seem to care. But mostly, at Satan. Because he is the root of all of this. All of the pain, confusion, back biting, anger, heart break, rumors, and distrust. He is the father of lies, and the father of confusion. So he is the one I am mostly mad at. Now, the question is, what do we do? We have prayed, and fought, and dug our heels in, for we believe we are right. But there comes a time, when it just gets to be too much. The weight is too great. The fighting too hard. The pain is too much. So, what to do? No, really, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
My husband has resigned from everything he does at church. All committees, teaching, everything. Because he basically feels whatever he does, makes it worse. And, I suppose its hard not to feel that way, when leaders of the church basically tell you that.
My son has stopped coming to church. Because he is angry, too. Because people that he loved, and looked up to, have betrayed us.
I feel like screaming. I feel like lashing out. I have (figuratively) bitten my tongue so much that the taste of blood is making me nauseous! I feel like I need a break, from all of this. I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and saying”Fine; you want total control, take it! See what happens when GOD is not in it! See what happens when your way is wrong!” I feel like I’m dealing with a petulant toddler. Go ahead, throw a tantrum. Pitch a fit. Be a bully. But if you think you’re getting what you want when you act that way…then, you don’t know the God I know. My God disciplines. My God punishes. My God does not reward selfish, unkind, spiteful behavior. And He doesn’t let it go, either. Our God is swift to act. He is jealous. He is protective of His people, of His church. So we should be very careful what we do to it. To His people. Because we do not want His wrath. We do not want His judgment. But that’s what we are headed for. God help us all. The last thing I want to witness is what will happen eventually, unless we turn from OUR ways and turn to HIS. Put HIM first; not our agendas.
I don’t even know how to close this out, except to say this; Pray for us. For our church. For our staff. Our ministries. Our congregation. Because, as I see it, our church is in flames, and while some are trying to put out the fire, others are pouring on gasoline.